Monday, April 21, 2014

I'm Going To Be A Trainer

Guess. What. I'M GOING TO BE A TRAINER!  Yeah!!! I'm going to train a newbie. We could kinda feel that it was going to happen but I didn't want to get my hopes up because I've been wanting to train every transfer and now I finally get to do it! This is my chance to prove I can be exactly obedient and show Heavenly Father He can really trust me! Ah!!! So this means we have to get up at 4:00 a.m. tomorrow so I can be at the trainer meeting at 9:00. Oh, and guess what? Sister Ferrin gets to go be companions with Sister Giles!!!!! I was so excited I accidentally pushed her. Right now I'm super stressed about it, but eventually I will over ride all that stress with excitement. I kinda knew it was coming. It was weird. I feel like... Heavenly Father has just said "you're ready and I know you can do this". I feel extremely blessed and honored to be trusted with such a responsibility. I feel like  Heavenly Father can trust me and He has seen my efforts and He knows that I really wanted to train. Now I just can't mess up. I have to be exactly obedient. I have seen missionaries who weren't trained obediently and they have the hardest time changing the smallest things and they don't have the miracles and success. I don't want my trainee to have to go through that. I want her to be exactly obedient and have her mission change her and others. Transfers are going to be exciting! If we can find a ride.. our ride cancelled this morning. So other than that, we're pretty excited.

I had a bit of a chastening study at the beginning of this week. I was studying humility and pride and I had an awakening. At the beginning of my mission Heavenly Father gave me a pat on the head and said "there there". He told me I was doing okay and that I was just learning and I could try again. This time, Heavenly Father said, "I love you and you can repent and try again, but you know better." The area is in a ditch right now because for the past two weeks I really failed with exact obedience. And finally Heavenly Father said I had to stop. I have to feel remorse, but I can repent and try again. So, I  feel like I have a new start with a trainee. I can just be obedient and that's all she will see me as, an obedient missionary.

So... Easter. It was the best Easter I have ever had. I woke up and we went to church and practiced a hymn called that Easter Morn. I looked up the scriptures to all the Easter songs and they were incredible. I kept thinking about the Because of Him video (it's so powerful! I love it!) We've been showing the video all week and watching it over and over and it's been all over Facebook. Christ went through so much for me. I kept thinking about that. I tried to truly repent of all I've done Saturday night and right before the sacrament and really focused on what it meant. Have you ever heard the primary song called Gethsemane? I heard it on Sister Hulmes CD and I love it! It's powerful too. So in class, Gospel Principles, we had a handout that just sucked me in. I felt bad because I wasn't participating as much because I was super busy reading every word of the handout. Well, a quote by Elder Neal A. Maxwell hit me: "In Gethsemane the suffering Jesus began to be 'sore' and 'astonished'. Imagine, Jehovah the creator of their and other worlds 'astonished!' Jesus... had never personally known the exquisite and exacting process of an atonement before. Thus, when the agony came in it's fullness, it was so much, much worse than even He with His unique intellect had ever imagined! The cumulative weight of all mortal sins - past, present, and future - pressed upon that perfect, sinless, and sensitive soul! No wonder an angel appeared to strengthen Him!" Isn't that powerful? Easter had a whole new meaning for me this year. It was truly incredible. We went over to the first counselor in the bishopric's house for dinner and he showed us a 13 minute Because of Him video. Then they made Easter baskets for us, their 2 daughters, and Brother and Sister Goble who are a young couple with a baby. They made us go outside and then they hid them. We then had to hunt them down! Haha it was fun to run around like a little kid looking for candy.

So as of right now we have no progressing investigators. We have people to teach, but no one wants to come to church or they say they do and they don't come. I have a feeling me and my new companion will be doing a lot of tracting her first week. This area needs a huge kick start. It also needs exact obedience. We are missionaries. We work for The Lord and we work on His time. We don't have time to chat for a couple hours. I plan on kicking it into gear... which is going to be very difficult. I know it won't change overnight (as much as I would like that) it's going to take hard work, determination, and a lot of faith. I want this area to be so obedient that miracles happen. There will be referrals coming from everyone. I'm going to train how I was trained. To be obedient. Not just obedient, exactly obedient.

I can't remember what I told you about the song but we were going to do a duet at the transfer meeting tomorrow, but I couldn't create one. It's hard. Sister Ferrin told me she would be totally okay with not playing in front of 260+ people. Haha so I created an arrangement of Redeemer of Israel and More Holiness give me. It's good. I'm excited but I know I'll be nervous.. I recorded it so when I send pictures home this week or next week you can listen to it.

We have birdies! Well.. they're not our pets but they built a nest on top of our light outside. At first there was a dove in there and she laid two eggs, but now there is a robin that sits in there and there are now a total of 4 eggs!!! Yay!
Looking at the eggs in the nest that's on our porch light.

See all those cute little eggs?

I can't believe Donnie's family wanted to come to his baptism too. We took a member with us to meet his parents and she just softened them right up by showing them love. She was only there for about 10 minutes but it changed everything!!! Donnie went to his grandparent's house for Spring/Easter break. He's coming back today though! I'm so happy!!! He's doing so well. He said his grandparents are anti-Mormon but that doesn't matter to him. He's so excited to tell us about his "experience" that he had with his grandparents.

I invite you as a family and all who will read this to work. Help the missionaries. There is always work to do, even in Utah. Missionary work is not a casual hobby that we go do as teenagers because it sounds "fun" or it's the "cool" thing to do. Help your missionaries. Help them obey so miracles can happen. Give service. Visit the Less-active members of the ward. Take a Book of Mormon every where you go because you never know who you will meet. Do not make us do this work by ourselves, we're running out of time and we have to warn everybody!!! I don't want to be the person standing in front of the Lord telling Him I was planning on sharing the gospel once my life settled down or once I found some free time. I want to stand in front of the Lord and tell Him I worked my hardest. I did everything I could to tell the people, to help them repent and come to know Him. I want to say I died trying.

Well.. I don't know if I have much more to say. I've done some learning this week and I want to try my hardest to be obedient now that I have to set the example. I'm grateful for your knowledge, testimony, support and love. You're one of the best things that keeps me going. I hope you have a great week. I love you so much!!!

~Sister Rokovitz~

P.S. I need mail. I'm suffering in that department. Once you hit 6 months on a mission people forget about you. All my friends that were writing me stopped. It's sad.


Wonderful missionaries

I got a haircut....several inches. It should be better for the Summer.